with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
