he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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