woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize