SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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