This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
