I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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