you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize