i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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