I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
