Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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