Did I show you my penis last night?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
