He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize