We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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