you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
