Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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