96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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