Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
