Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
