I'm so fucking centered right now
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
is it fun? or sober?
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