After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
