It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We just shotgunned beers for America
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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