I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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