what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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