I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
