I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
