the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
