oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
