i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
