I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize