Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
