What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
