i will never coherently bang her
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
