How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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