Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
