I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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