nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
