I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
