she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
