please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
