Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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