he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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