The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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