Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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