hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
