she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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