I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
