I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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