shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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