I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
