If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If I die, sorry about rent.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize