I'm lost and stupid without you.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
