Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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