Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
