I love black thongs
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
