I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
