dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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