Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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