Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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