Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
