My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
