he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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