HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
