I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
