after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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