he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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